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  • Writer's pictureriesaminakan

You will be tested!

When you are on your path of self-discovery there are different stages of change that you go through. In the beginning, there is a lot of awareness of yourself and your negative thinking dynamics. This awareness leads into building a new way of perceiving yourself and perceiving yourself in your world. This is challenging and difficult because you may have spent your whole life believing distortions and lies about yourself that need to be seen in a more positive and accurate light. You need to be vigilant and relearn a new way of thinking and being. Overtime, this internal muscle that you create begins to grow and you begin to feel the side of yourself that is non-judgmental, stays in the moment and takes care of your wants and needs. However, often, boundaries need to be put into place when we feel less about ourselves and that is reflected in our relationships when we put others before ourselves. You need to choose you before anyone else. Remember you are the most important person to yourself because you live with yourself 24 hours a day. If that doesn’t convince you, you will never be able to help others as much as you want to if you don’t take care of yourself first. I’ve adopted this way of being in order to give of myself in the way that I do daily. I can’t give something that I don’t have to give. I deserve to feel good and I want to make sure I can help others get there. The next stage happens when you have built up the side of yourself that is thinking more positively, learning to have compassion for yourself and are in the process of letting go of judgement's and comparisons. However, before the magic begins you will find that the old negative thinking and perceiving will come back with double strength. It’s as if you are being tested to see if you are really going to adopt these new changes. This is when clients begin to get discouraged as the newness of change is wearing off and they don’t understand why all the work they are putting in things seems to be getting harder. That’s right. Often, you will experience a time during your transformation where you want to give up because it’s getting harder and harder. I urge you to keep going. This happens a lot in ending addictions and changing habits. In the beginning, there’s more of a sense of hope as they haven’t tried these skills or learned these new ways of thinking. However, there will inevitably be a time in your journey where the ‘demons’ of your mind will come back and fight you harder right before your permanent shift in thinking happens. There will be this internal conflict which can feel like you are going crazy trying to deal with both opposing sides. I promise if you push through and don’t give up or try to take a short cut you will find yourself on the other side with the ‘demons’ put in their place. You will sense that the new positive loving part of yourself is much stronger than the negative. It will be easier to stay centered and keep your mind in that place of peace and rest. Often this is the time when a lot of clients will terminate treatment. All I can say is don’t give up! The miraculous is just about to happen. Once you realize that you walked through a form of hell and came back you will teach yourself who you really are. It will solidify the transformation of your soul. Freedom is right on the other side of the mountain. So, when you are getting weary and the end doesn’t seem in sight remember you are right on the precipice of transformation. And that my friend is the secret to the path of self-discovery!

I would love to hear any comments you may have on this subject. I'm curious about other's journey of healing and self-discovery!

Riesa Minakan has a private practice in Ridgefield CT. Riesa can also be seen on community forum on comcast channel 23. In addiction, live on Facebook ( Or on demand go to: She also has a weekly blog and is in production of her own Youtube channel. She's been published in Natural Awakenings and continuing the important conversations needed about healing.

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